Just need to open up a bit. I just get irritated because one of my friends so easily.. I just sometimes find myself thinking about "would you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and like "supries, she's doing it again..".. tho im thinking about bad things about ppl pretty often in nowadays.. like in one lesson someone breathed really heavily next to me and i found it annoying xD

She's sometimes so so so annoiying. There is couple things i really hate. If i example told that i had a fever last night, she has something WAY WORSE some times ago or just yesterday. Something was always better with her or worse with her. And her humor is like to say mean things about ppl to them in as a joke? i don't really get it.. and judge everyone. And well she says something and you can't be sure if she's saying it for real or not and if you say something sarcastic back, like im sometimes a bit sarcatic, she's like "well don't be like that!".......
Plus if you're explaining something, she doesn't let you fnnish.. She always starts to talk over you and that's the one thing i have even mentioned her. it's fucking annoying.
I know she might not realise what she's doing, but if we wounldn't have same friends, i would just tell her to fuck off.

Nothing more to say :D School has started and im working this weekend.. yeye -__-

I was at Helsinki for 4 days and i had so much fun! Partyed, watched movies, just chillin' around :) So good! It was so fun when some goodlooking guys walked near us, Jonne and i both looked at them and just hahah.. :'D It was like birdwatching :')

I tryed to go shopping there too but all shops closed like around 6pm? wtf? it was saturday! so well im going to go shopping today. I have a lot to buy. Since i have the feeling we wont go to cruise with eve, since she doesn't answer to my sms somehow or take contact to me, then well i'll buy all i need! ^^ soon i'll get more money anyway, yeeeey

Nothing more to tell! Im eating tomato soup atm ^^ yumyum!

New Harry Potter movie was awesome and premiere was so cool! Everybody applauded when the movie was over :') it was so good <3

At Thursday im going to Helsinki <3 yeeey finaly! Will be there for several nights and we'll go party party and to Linnanmäki (another theme park) and everything ^^ i know its going to be so much fun since i haven't seen Jonne for ages! :D <3 he's one of my best friends.

I didn't really have anything to write here tbh :D i just wanted to update.. o_o

I'll just start watch another vampire movie and eat something before i go to gym at evening ^^ xoxo

So im working at the moment, from 14-22.00 and its peaceful time here so i have to surf around the wonderful wolrd of internet :D im alone here too at the moment, but not for long anymore.

I think there's nothing so new with me. Tomorrow is the last day at work - for now and soon is the new Harry Potter movie out! :) Will go see it soon yey, im so excited. And i'll go to särkänniemi at this saturday. I was going to go to cruise at the end of this month but i was thinking about not going.. all about the money you know.. :/ I think the better time it would be after couple months. Now i dont have so much money left and i should pay my next month rent too :S dunno how im going to survive. I think i have to call to KELA and ask them if i will get some money at august already, because im not sure about it. I hope i will, then i could go to that cruise, would be awesome.

So nothing much happened now. Just chilling, making musicvideos and working :) summer has gone so quickly :/

So i was at Jyväskylä with Miia. I went there at wednesday and came home yesterday. Miia came to my place for one night and she left couple hours ago.

I had so much fun ^^ we laughed, watched jackass and took some new pictures :) Yesterday we had picnic and it was fun ^^ lots of ducks there! And then because Miia had bday yesterday (!!!) we needed to party - ofc! We bought some alcohol and drank some while playing Spyro on PS2 :''D Then my friend and her bf came here and we went to Passion bar and drank caipirosca and tequila :D funfun.. and then we went to get some chinese which was soooo good! omg i LOVED it! <3 and then me and miia went to Caparet and danced there for a while and then left back home :)) We had fun!

So i have had a really nice week :) lots of stuff i have been doing. Tomorrow i'll go buy myself a new mp3-player and day after that or tomorrow i'll go to my friends place to see a puppy and hang out :) at weekend i'll go to work.. they called me, like i said before they really need help there, lots of ppl getting sick and everything. And also i'll go work at 15th and 16th. And at 16th there's also new harry potter <3 well at 17th to be clear, at six minutes past midnight i'll go see the new movie ^^ yeeeey that will be awesome! and at 18th we'll go to Särkänniemi, theme park and have funfunfun =)

Dunno what els to write, i'll go make myself a shrimp sallad <3 YUM!

So i've been hanging out with my friend for couple days, didn't do much but still a lot lol!
My feet hurts to much -_- full of wounds and everything, yeah it does hurt! we walked way too much, damn.

well today i promised to go watch Jonas Brothers 3D movie with Riikka o_o i can imagine the movie studio is full of 12-year-old girls and us... :''DD well im really looking forward to the part that it's a 3D! never seen one :) so cool! We decided to scream everytime when Joe comes to the screen xD that will be fun lol!

i got my salary today, a bit less then i thought i'll get but it was only salary of 3 weeks. But still enough. Paid my rent, put 300e save and i have a bit over 600e to use to all my traveling and shopping and all this month ^^ and hopefully i wont use all. Like i explained to my friend, i get a bit mingy when i have "lots" of money. When i have like 20e i'll use it like that *snaps her fingers* - but when we are talking about 600e, i refuse to use it, because its so much and its nice to have money. So it lasts longer but still im always able to use it all xD haha.

I should buy a new mp3-player. it will take like 150e or so :( bah, i dont like the idea but.. we'll see. I was planing to buy a piano, electronic one but i think i wont buy it yet and make my father buy it later. First he'll buy me new bike, mine is so broken.. :D

Tomorrow im going to Jyväskylä, see Miia :) i have missed her <3 She has bday at saturday and i'll give her gift to her tomorrow already - i have so good gift! i love it xD its so cool. I hope she likes it too. Also we were thinking about going to picnic tomorrow too. We'll see, at least i know we'll have so much fun hehe :D

Anyway dont know what els to write :) xoxo

So I'm back home at Tampere, in my own apartment.

We arrived around 5pm and then we went to shop and got me some food here, because I didn't have anything here. I spent 1,5 month at my parents place so i couldn't really leave anything here. Now i have really much food again - im not going to die <3
Then my parents left and I started cleaning. There was really much dust everywhere since I didn't have time to clean before i left so there was even more!
Then i just put my stuff back to closets and now it feels like home again :)

Oh and i got myself a fan! It looks like a skycraper O_o its not like a normal fan, its on the floor. It's about 1m tall and it spins abour 90 degrees :D its so cute... i think :D
I really needed one o_o when we arrived, there was 28'c hot here >.< and well now its down to 26,9'c but there's no sun shining here anyway so yeah..

Now im just chilling, watchin tv, listening music and drinking some Karpalolonkero <3

Tomorrow i'll go to my gym again <3 weeee yey. I have missed it, i didn't like to go to gym at Valkeakoski, where my parents live, since i didn't know how to use all machines there -_- at my own gym they have told me how to use those and i know where i can find everything i need so it feels more safe, if you know what i mean :)

So also! I have been reading Breaking Dawn.  I just started to read book 3 (in breaking dawn, i mean) and i LOVE LOVE LOVE this book. Jacob is like so awww, i love him <3 I just got idea i should make Jacob/Bella musicvideo since would be nice to make one who it would be if they had end up together :) <3 lovely jacob, my dogboy..

Anyway i'll read some more of breaking dawn at evening but now i'll just... i dunno ^^ relax i think?

It's so weird!
Again i realised one of my "friends" (not really a good friend but i at least know her) started a relationship with a man which is friend of my ex :D Wtf, this feels weird.

It doesn't bother me or anything but this finland is SO SMALL! God dammit this is so small.. as like my workmate actually knew who my ex was which was really weird :D:D
And then my friend knew who my parents were :D Sometimes it feels like that every ppl in finland know everyone by someone :D

Bah, glad i can go back to Tampere at next thursday.. Valkeakoski is so small. I just came from pub, just drank couple because my holidays started but then already someone was pointing me and explaining to his friend who i was :D fucking hell..

Wish i could move to Helsinki already. Only err.. 3-4 years more pff.. :D if nothing special happens. Hope not.

In past three days i've watched five movies. I watched Blood and Chocolate, Speak, The Covenant, The Messengers and Push.
I have never heard about those movies before but i found out four of them from Twilight fans i just watched those all. 

I loved every single movie of those. Specially i loved Blood And Chocolate and The Covenant. Speak was awesome too. The Messengers and Push were fine, not great but worth to watch.

I haven't had really anything better to do lately? i've been working like a horse, but it's down to three days.. Saturday will be my last one, then i'll have summer break until 10th of august. But we'll see if they'll call me work there, because they need a lot of workers there and ppl getting sick and no-one to take their places.
I have anyway lots to do this summer, next month. I'll go see my friends and im really waiting forward for trip to Helsinki. I miss that city, it was part of me for over 2 years and now i haven't been there in... 5 months? wow, it's been long.. what a hell happened to me.. what's wrong with me..

...
anyway...

So most likely, next week, i'll go back to my own place. It's weird to go back there. First i was there 4,5 months then i came back home for over a month. Specially it's weird to go there when i have big big bed nowadays. I got so used to sleep next to someone, made me feel save. So now its just me. Me and my big bed.
I know i can deal with it, like i can always deal with everything. People would really suprise if i told them what im sometimes really feeling. Or thinking lol, i can be so BITCH sometimes, im glad i think before i say something. It's just so hard to talk to someone about anything. Music is the only way i can survive - really the only one. I know i would have lots of friends who would listen to me and might even understand me and dont think i would be absolutyly stupid, but it's hard. It's easier to me to listen some music which lyrics make me think about things.

Anyway things are starting to clear up to me. Im starting to finaly realise and see things, which i wouldn't want to see because it hurts, but i have to turn a new page. I HAVE to. This is starting to be ridiculous. Next week i get back to Tampere, back to my old good gym, i can focus to that.  <<I almost wrote something stupid here but realise that would be the old me, shh>>

Well.. Nothing els to say. I need a lot of help with this new page.. i don't know how long it takes to really get it done but, im trying.. im trying SO hard. But life's not that easy - it never is.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's hard to be all alone
I never got through your disguise
I guess I'll just go, and face all my fear

So please,
Let me be free from you
And please, let me be free
I can face the truth.
~Secondhand Serenade <3